where did the bird fly

350字
主题:观察、意外、责任、正义、勇气、秩序

the thin line shows you where the bird flew. it flew in front of the first tree. then it flew between the first and second trees and behind the second tree. then it flew over the third tree and under the bridge.

after that it flew behind the first house and then it flew between the houses. then it flew in front of the second house and over the two houses. after that it flew under the bridge and behind the third tree. then it flew over the other trees.

the other day, tom was riding along the street. suddenly, a car was running towards him fast. he was so frightened that he quickly turned to the left side. but it was too late. the car hit his bike and he fell off it. when the driver realized that he had caused an accident, he got such a fright that he took flight with his car. he was soon out of sight leaving tom helpless on the spot. fortunately a passer-by happened to see what had happened and remembered the number of the car. he reported this to the police. now the driver has been caught and will be punished for his wrong doing.

精选读者点评

这个“飞鸟路线图”写得真清楚!树、桥、房子全成了路标,读着像看动画分镜,千万下回试试把“ flew ”换几个动词?比如“掠过”“穿入”“俯冲”,画面会更活。

一个人看电影

350字
主题:勇敢尝试、自我挑战、生活体验、亲子信任、童年记忆

一个人看电影

中午,我做完作业就去电_看电影。在路上,爸爸问我:“你长大了,可以试试一个人进去看电影了。你会找座位吗?”我说:“我会。”来到电_里,妈妈帮我买了一张票,票上写着3号厅八排十四座,我问妈妈:“第八排是第几排?”妈妈说:“第八排就是最后一排。”我又问妈妈:“3号厅在哪里?”妈妈说:“门口有个大大的3的就是3号厅。”快要放电影了,我走进电_里望了望,没看见3号厅,我就去问工作人员:“叔叔,3号厅怎么走?”叔叔说:“一直右转。”等我找到十四座的时候,电影正好开始了。电影又精彩又好看。电影放完了,我就沿着来3号厅的路线走到了出口,爸爸妈妈已经在那里等我了。我高高兴兴地跑过去,把电影介绍给妈妈听。

一个人看电影也没什么好害怕的嘛!

精选读者点评

这个“八排就是最后一排”的对话太真实了!孩子对空间的懵懂感扑面而来,不加修饰反而更是有味道。结尾那句“也没什么好害怕的嘛”语气一扬,像小拳头轻轻挥了一下,真可爱。

第一次独自上学的经历

250字
主题:独立、勇气、童年记忆、生活体验、微小突破

今天早上爷爷送我上学,结果临出门时,爷爷突然闹肚子了,我等了很久,爷爷还没从厕所出来,眼看上学时间就要迟到了。我做出了一个大胆的决定,第一次独自上学。

其实我从来没有独自上学过,这是第一次。但我记得每次爷爷送我上学的路线,出了小区往右拐,直走到我最喜欢的玩具店门口再走地下通道过到对面的马路,沿着马路直走50米就到了我们小学门口。虽然线路我都记得很熟,但毕竟第一次独自走,还是有点紧张,沿着记忆里路线走了一遍,当看到学校门口时,我心里的紧张一下子就没有了

精选读者点评

哇!第一次独自上学就写得这么场景历历在目感,玩具店、地下通道、50米……数字都记得清清楚楚,真像你小脚丫一步一数走过来的!结尾那句“紧张一下子就没有了”,干净利落,比喊“我成功啦”还让人心里一暖。